


The Boyfriend

by starlight1721



Series: The Time Traveller and his Celestial Sentinel [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: Deep Breath, F/F, F/M, Gen, I wrote this fic as part of a healing process, Romance, souffez - Freeform, whouffaldi, whouffle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:56:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2117673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight1721/pseuds/starlight1721
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he had been, maybe he hadn't? But know, after everything had changed as she stared at the new Doctor, she knew it was a mute question to ask.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I saw the episode and now my heart is torn into pieces and the feels... so in hopes of feeling better and as a therapeutic measure I wrote this. However, I am pretty sure this is angstier than my writings usually are, but it's just the mood I am in.

She still couldn't quite comprehend how she found herself in the middle of this mess, when all she had done was what she always did: _save the Doctor_.

And yet, all of her efforts and sacrifices now seemed useless. Because he didn't remember, not one thing. Of all of the horrible things that could have happened to her, this was the worst. Not only was the Doctor no longer her Chin; her clever boy had _forgotten_ her. And that was the sourest pill to swallow.

And now it was all muffled up and it was just one hell of a mess because he didn't remember, and try as she might, she could not understand. It was all off, all wrong, too little bow ties and quiffs and too much madness and grey hair. In all honestly, she felt she had truly lost the Doctor, once and for all. And to make it all the worse, Vastra started questioning her loyalty to the Doctor, _her_ Doctor. The one that she had died to save, over and over again. She became a ball of fury... who was the reptile to question her dedication to the Time Lord?

But really, that was not the worst of it.

They got into trouble, like always. But this time, unlike ever before, he left her. Abandoned her to figure a way out, an escape and to keep the Doctor safe. (Because even in the middle of this whole mess and even if he had left her to die and even if she could not recognize the Doctor anymore, she was still the Impossible Girl, the recipe to the Souffle, and she would always be there to save him.)

But the worst part was that it hurt. It hurt being forgotten and ignored and constantly left behind by the man she cared for. The man, that crazy madman with a blue box, that she loved so much. The one she had, was, and would always give everything for.

Yet, somehow, after he left her, he came back. And he brought back up in the form of Vastra, Jenny, and Strax, who in term had more back up. (She know thought it wise to follow their lead and start calling the police as often as possible to aid them whenever Earth's safety was in danger.)

And he had rescued her... only to go on and leave her behind once more. This time, at least, she had the Paternoster Gang (and no TARDIS to travel back home in, ugh).

But again, after one more minor heartbreak (she was already getting used to those, ever since the whole Christmas ordeal began), he came to get her again.

And they talked.

_ "I am the Doctor. I've lived for over 2,000 years. I've  made many mistakes and it's about time that I did something about that. Clara, I am not your boyfriend." _

_ "I never thought you were." _ It wasn't a lie she had pronounced in answer to his bold words. She never thought _him_ to be her boyfriend, but she had always wished _her_ bow tie clad, alien, chinny Doctor had been. Not this man she didn't recognize, and so, she told him so.  


_ "I never said it was your mistake." _ And she froze at those words. Because, could it be? Did he truly mean it? But no, the Doctor would never confess such a thing, such intimate feelings, not _her_ Doctor, he wouldn't.

_ "I don't think I know who you are anymore." _

And her mobile rang, interrupting them.

_ "You should answer that, might be your boyfriend." _

She had almost snorted in derision, _"Shut up, I don't have one."_  


And she had stepped out and answered the call and all of the breath left her. Because it was _him_ , _her_ Doctor, calling from Trenzalore. And her heart ached, it broke a little bit more because by God, she missed him. She wanted him back, so, so badly. _Her Doctor._

And then she realized, as the heart breaking call ended that he, the one she was travelling with, had to have known who had called. And he, the one standing in front of her, had called _him_ her boyfriend. And she realized that maybe he had been, maybe he hadn't? But now, after everything had changed as she stared at the new Doctor, she knew it was a mute question to ask. (And the confession came too late and it was useless, it was just so heartbreaking.)  


She knew that (even if she didn't like it and it broke her heart and tore her apart and even if it was the most painful experience in the universe and all throughout time) this Doctor needed her. And she would try to see him for who he was. Try to forgive and love him and help no matter how much it hurt. Because just like always, and as she had always done, she would stay and _save the Doctor._

 


End file.
